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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098954">Divinity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandraic/pseuds/Cassandraic'>Cassandraic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ButterOmens, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), God is still terrible though, M/M, No really I mean it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:13:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandraic/pseuds/Cassandraic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>God likes food, and the occasional clever bastard angel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Divinity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23087368">Divinity</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricwritesprose/pseuds/lyricwritesprose">lyricwritesprose</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I only call My plan “ineffable” because it amuses the heaven <em>and</em> hell out of Me to watch everyone go around effing it up. Perhaps you think this unbecoming a deity. Frankly, I don’t care what you think. I never have.</p><p>I do, however, pay quite close attention to actions, particularly actions carried out in, or in opposition to, My name. I didn’t mind Lucifer Morningstar thinking things through. I didn’t even mind him pulling other angels in to have those discussions. I don’t mind discussions! They are often hilarious! As soon as Lucifer raised so much as the tip of one finger against another of My creations — well, that was that. I couldn’t have that and still remain Me. He had to Fall, and his followers with him.</p><p>As for Crowley, Crawly as I made him — he knows what he did. He certainly knows he <em>did something</em>, and it wasn’t sauntering, either. If he won’t admit it even to Aziraphale, that’s no skin off My nose.</p><p>Anyroad, one thing Crowley’s right about is that Gabriel is a wanker. I don’t know where Gabe got his <i>thing</i> about “gross matter” generally and food specifically from, but it wasn’t from Me. Matter is My creation and I did rather a nice and accurate job with it, thank you very much! And I absolutely adore food. Oh, shut up about that apple — it wasn’t <em>about</em> the apple, it was about doing what I said. They didn’t, I kicked them out for it, and that was that. Shame, really. I’d have let them eat it eventually, if they’d not acted like the ninnies in that psychology experiment who couldn’t keep their hands off a marshmallow for three minutes.</p><p>Oh, shut up about children, too. I don’t even take that from Crowley. Well, all right, I do, because all he does is gas about it; he’s never actually gotten in My way. By now he knows better.</p><p>Where was I? Oh, right, food. Anything that ultimately inspires the Great British Bake-Off is good in My book. I had to be a bit nasty about food commandments at first, I admit, but it wasn’t because I don’t like food, or particular types of food — I just had to look out trichinosis and the like didn’t wipe out My entire creation before I was done with it, that’s all. That’s a style of blundering effery I frankly didn’t want in any of My various and sundry plans. Leave it to Famine, who is quite elegant about the whole thing, exactly as horrific as I intended him to be.</p><p>You ever notice how, cross-culturally, food is probably the commonest sacrifice to deities that there is? Of course that’s no accident. I adore food! This way I get to sample everything and pick favorites! Sometimes I get cravings; the honey-cake thing in Greece got a bit out of hand, but that one was on Me, not them. I do know the difference and act accordingly. So that’s why one of the fastest ways to My heart is through — not My stomach, exactly, but cooking in My name. Christopsomo? I’m all about it. </p><p>That clever bastard Aziraphale, thinking through the problem of Crowley’s inability to perceive love — one of My better tricks, that one, letting angels see love and demons see want; I only wish the dimwitted fools would realise what Aziraphale and Crowley have about what I meant by it — and in his foursquare plodding way, reasoning out that “love” and “want” have to intersect, especially around food.</p><p>Divinity. <i>Divinity.</i> That was a good one, I have to hand it to Aziraphale. Well, I’d have to if Crowley weren’t handing Aziraphale a thing or two already… and if Aziraphale hadn’t left Me a piece on his under-rug summoning rig.</p><p>Scrumptious. Truly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part of the <a href="https://n0nb1narydemon.tumblr.com/post/611808756218707968">ButterOmens remix-fest</a>, inspired by the delightful “<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23087368">Divinity</a>” by lyricwritesprose. In keeping with the ButterOmens event, I invite all and sundry to remake, re-media, rethink, riff off, or otherwise mess around with this. (M-rated or below, please.) I definitely left a few offhand remarks I think are potential hooks!</p><p>So this is where I admit that I cannot stand the God of Good Omens, in any relevant canon. He or She or What-the-heaven-ever-gender is loathsome. Crowley is completely right to doubt and cavil and snark. (Someday I’ll write something about the thread of “gods ain’t all that” running through fantasy from Dunsany to Eddison through Good Omens, but it is not this day. Those influences definitely exist, though.)</p><p>I’ve seen some fixfic valiantly try to make GO!God into a non-horror, but I can’t say any of it has ever convinced me. This fic is not fixfic. This fic is consciously and intentionally leaning in to GO!God’s awfulness.</p><p>(This is also where I admit that while I like and appreciate Frances McDormand, she was terribly miscast here, contributing to the overall poor impression GO!God makes. I look forward to the remake or fan remix with Jemma Redgrave or Felicity Kendal or Sophie Okonedo or someone else who can communicate some humane, if not human, warmth in a voiceover.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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